dougsploitation: SUPERCHICK

As a Friday the 13th treat, here's a place I originally ran 4 years ago.when I had time to "review" movies...

From the titleand poster one would take that SUPERCHICK was either a Wonder WOMAN parody or a white FOXY BROWN knockoff. In reality, SUPERCHICK has a lot more in green with THE HAPPY HOOKER.A few minutes into the story, we quickly see that the "trick" of this picture is that things aren't always as they first appear.

For instance, at first we see a sexy brunette stewardess.but presently she disappears into a telephone booth.and emerges as a sexy blonde in a Black Canary costume.

Unfortunately the black fishnets do not cross her bruised legs. Ouch.Next we believe weare seeing drinks being poured in an elegant restaurant, but the camera pulls back to reveal: it's a bathtub in a fancy suite owned by a head surgeon who has Thomas Gainsboro "Blue Boy" hanging over his toilet.

So here we see that Superchick is sleeping with him in this yellow paper and shag carpeting paradise. I mean he asks her to tie him, but I'm not sure since my notes are kinda sloppy tonight. She tells the dear doctor - "I look like an Avon Lady in Sun City." Huh???

From there we see Tom Jones(really Tony Young fromPOLICEWOMENas Johnny) in bed with a topless woman who looks like a big-titted Barbara Barrie in her BARNEY MILLER days (actually it's porn legend Candy Samples!).

Soon Superchick aka Tara B. True arrives in Miami in her stewardess guise. Meanwhile, Johnny puts on a sexy stripe sweater and goes to assemble with the Gay Mafia who do in red and mustard.

They seem like plastic condiment dispensers. Johnny gets pissed at them and as they take out in their fancy car he yells "Fags!"Tara next turns up on Johnny's boat wearing only a fishing net with "floats" on her tits, vagina and ass. Then we believe we see skidmarks on Johnny's tighty whities as he mounts her.

This is followed by an endless montage of them doing Miami type things like working on the beach, water skiing, playing tennis, dancing, gambling and drinking. When Johnny asks her to marry him she makes up some Shakespeare quote.

Then Johnny parks in "the white zone" at the airport - and Tara's back in her stewardess uniform (we hear she works for Crown International Airlines -a clever play on the company that distributed the film).

On the plane, she offers a pledge to a rude old man and then fucks a cute marine in the airplane restroom. She arrives at LAX and is greeted by another boyfriend - this one's a rock star who looks like he perhaps has Down's Syndrome. Next she's kicking ass in karate class. Huh?

At this place one of my co-viewers declares "I've got no thought what is passing on!" The balance of us are too confused, so we resolve to tell everything that has happened so far...

1) A stewardess gets into a phonebooth and changes.

2) She's brunette, and then she's blonde.

3) She's eating dinner in a bathtub discussing fine art.

4) She flew to Miami.

5) She met the Tom Jones lookalike who was blooming a cow.

6) Tom loses money on dog races and hates fags.

7) He's either a drunkard or just tired from the Miami montage

8) She flew to LA to see the Down's Syndrome guy

9) Oh, she fucked a marine on the plane

10) Oh, she quotes Shakespeare, we think.

11) She met a Chinese guy played by a Hawaiian actor.

We resolve that there is a dispute between "actual plot" and "things happening". I suppose we're all caught up now. But nothing explains this new guy who looks like Norm McDonald playing Burt Reynolds. Then somebody in the movie (I don't remember who) says "Holy shit!" to the camera. He ain't kidding!

At this point, I resolve to Google our lead actress Joyce Jillson -pwho turns out to be Joyce Jillson - celebrity astrologer. Joyce was an author of a nationally syndicated astrology column which appeared in almost 200 newspapers including the LA Times and the NY Daily News! She too was Ronald Reagan's official psychic! administration! She died in 2004. Wow.Who knew?

Back to the movie - and her big white stewardess bag.Soon a black guy pays particular care to her. Next we see a woman being whipped - but it's not what you think - it's the set of a porn movie! Tensions are high, especially when the porn actress calls her male lead a "fag". Tara then gets advice from the leading lady "to get into Show Business, you gotta SHOW your BUSINESS!"

Next Tara's at a wild hippy party which looks like it's at a disco - but the camera pulls back to reveal - it's somebody's house! Here she and the black dude, let's call him "Jimi Hendrix", finally hook up as he offers her a joint. (There's still a Hendrix poster on the palisade behind them)So then they give a deep moment as she sips a Tab from a straw.

Things get out of reach when the "heat freaks" (aka "cops") show up and bust everyone, but Tara changes back into her stewardess get-up and escapes. Then she gets "flashed". I think.

So, the rock star guy is performing the piano badly, then they fuck inside of it. NOT on top of it, but Inside of it, which must hurt.Downs guy wants to tie her too! EVERYBODY wants to marry Tara! Then she rants over Bolero type music and they know more.

Next we see old John Carradine, who is robed as a Russian Czar.

There's fight that involves him and his stunt double, but we can't see out what it's all about. Then the Gay mafia shows up again on a flat and there's a small boy who also possibly has Down's Syndrome just starring at the camera. What is passing on here???

Okay, Tara gets off the level and it's SO Impractical that her tits pop out of her uniform! Suddenly all three boyfriends are there and she tells them she can't marry them - because she loves them ALL! "Life is made up of people, not ONE person". Oh - so that's what this film was nearly all along.now I get it. Wow.I love Superchick too.

But why is she called SUPERCHICK? She doesn't get any powers or fighting crime.she just fucks a lot of guys. Super.

9 outta 10 - mostly for the AMAZING soundtrack and fabulous outfits.